Get Your Head in the Game

Uncategorized Jun 08, 2024

Any fellow football fans out there???

We LOVE football at our house.  The Superbowl feels a little like second Christmas to us as we gather with amazing friends, watch the game we love, and eat WAY too much yummy food!

Both my husband and our son played college football, and I played college volleyball, so we know a little something about sports, and the mentality it takes to perform at a high level.

When it’s game time, you play to win.  You trust in your abilities and focus on the result you want to achieve, which is that winning score.

Can you imagine if Tom Brady, (my favorite QB of all time) started to worry between each play, “What if I get tackled, what if I get hurt?”  

What a disaster that would be right???

No.  When the players step on the field, they know each and every play is going to involve some pain.  Their lungs and muscles and going to burn with exertion. The hits are going to be hard...

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Compounding Kindness

Uncategorized Jun 08, 2024

We all spend a lot of time and effort trying to improve our bank accounts.  We save and invest, because we know that over the years, that compounding interest will provide a nice nest egg for retirement.

But what about your kindness account?  The compounding effect over time in this account, can yield all kinds of rewards, -some much better than money!

I like to think about it like this. 

Each time I don’t react in anger, and I show compassion, I make a deposit.  Each time I direct my brain to look for the good and I express appreciation, BOOM – another deposit.  When I choose to look in the mirror and love everything I see, my kindness account grows.

Sometimes it might feel like too much of an effort.  Being angry feels more powerful, so we indulge a little and actually enjoy it in the moment.  But dang it, it always makes a hefty withdrawal from our kindness account and leaves us feeling worse.

Have you ever watched...

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Pretty (Damaging) Little Lies

Uncategorized Jun 07, 2024

One of the things I coach an awful lot on, is the idea of what is “normal” or “not normal.”

I was coaching a client recently who has some very strong beliefs about what a “normal” sex life should be, between she and her husband.  She was really beating herself up because of her lack of interest in physical intimacy.

She believed there was something very wrong with her.

She had thoughts like:

“Normal women want this, there is definitely something wrong with me.”

“I’m not a “good” wife….”

“I should want to be more attracted to my husband.”

And then, when she was tired of beating herself up over her lack of desire, she would turn her blame onto her husband with these kinds of thoughts.

“All he cares about is sex.”

“If he loved me he would care more about what I need.”

Do you see the problem?  When we have firm ideas about what is...

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Have His Back

Uncategorized Jun 06, 2024

Have you ever found yourself out with friends and the topic inevitably turns to our guys?  Of course you have, it’s totally natural to share pieces of our lives with one another.  

It starts off fairly innocently… someone shares a little story or voices a small complaint,- and then we commiserate with a story of our own.  Then that reminds someone else of another issue they have, her pain resonates with yours, and suddenly it has escalated into a full blown husband bashing session.

It wasn’t our intention. All we really wanted was to talk.  It feels so nice to be able to unload your gripes, to feel heard and understood.  

Well, at least it feels good in the moment, -perhaps you even feel justified.  But when that moment has passed, what are you left with?  

Likely a little guilt or shame about having betrayed the one person you are supposed to love and care the most about.

May I make a suggestion?

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Honor YOUR Divine Spark

Uncategorized Jun 05, 2024

Man oh man I LOVE this time of year!  I love the peace and quiet after the rush of the holidays and the time I get to spend by myself to contemplate the previous year.  

I love quietly celebrating my wins and finding gratitude for the lessons that were hard and required me to grow.  And more than anything, I love feeling that divine spark within me that compels me to look ahead, and create a vision and a plan for my future.

What is that compelling nudge?  Where does it come from?

If you believe as I do, that we are created by God and therefore His children, then you might believe that nudge is the divine spark within us, pulling us forward like a moth to the flame.  

If we are divine by birthright, it is only natural that we have an internal compass that will point us to growth and push us to become the best version of ourselves.

It’s human nature to want to skip to the end.  To make the jump from caterpillar to butterfly without...

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A Case for Embracing Pain

Uncategorized Jun 03, 2024

When I was growing up, I remember my dad taking us one by one, to visit with him and set some goals for the New Year.  I really loved that! I remember how exciting and hopeful it felt to dream of creating something new or improving myself.

I was really good at the dreaming… but not so good at the implementing.

I could see the end result in my mind, but lacked the tools to follow through and make it happen.

Over time this became discouraging.  Why bother setting goals if I wasn’t going to accomplish them?

As we head into the New Year, what are your thoughts?

Do you make new resolutions and trust yourself to do the work, or is the pain of possible failure too great?

The problem is that our actions are created by our thoughts, and if our thinking isn’t in line with the goal, the action we take won’t be effective.

The pain of discomfort is the currency we must pay in order to grow. We must choose to embrace it.

Embrace the pain? You might be...

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The Ultimate Gift, Second Chances

Uncategorized Jun 02, 2024

I’ve been thinking long and hard about the message I wanted to share with you this beautiful week of Christmas. 

There are so many reasons we celebrate; the love of family and friends, the blessings of hearth and home, the music, the lights, the traditions that bring us joy… but the one I embrace the most is hope.

To me this is the greatest gift of all.  Because of our Savior, we have 2nd, 3rd, 20th and even 100th chances.  Because of Him, we can be renewed. There is no such thing as too far gone or beyond repair. We can heal what has been damaged, change our ways, reignite our faith and find sunshine after rain.

One of my clients recently expressed to me that this is the first Christmas in many years, that she and her husband are enjoying each other and enjoying Christmas together.  She has spent the past several months working with me, learning the tools, applying the concepts and doing the work, and it is paying off BIG TIME! When she...

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What to Do if You Are Feeling Overwhelmed

Uncategorized Jun 01, 2024

If you are anything like me, you get to this point in December and you start to feel a bit of a panic.  Christmas is just days away and there is still so much to do! Neighbor gifts, shopping, party planning and hosting. 

You know that feeling, -the tightness in your chest and throat, the tension in your neck and temples. When overwhelm sets in, it can immobilize us and cause all kinds of stress.

We call overwhelm an indulgent emotion because it really serves no purpose. It’s one of those feelings that just grows worse as we try to push it away.  But here is the interesting thing, overwhelm is never caused by what’s going on in your life or your list of things to do, it’s caused by your thoughts about them.


I know many women who would argue that this is just the circumstance of their life. But how can that be true when someone else might have an even...

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The Blame Game

Uncategorized May 31, 2024


When we blame someone else for the results in our lives, we give up all of our power. 

When we place blame, we are choosing to believe that we are not the creator of our own lives, but rather, at the effect of someone else’s wishes. I don’t know about you, but that sounds horrible to me!

Do you blame him for making you delay your career to stay home with the kids?

Do you blame her for making you feel angry or offended?

Do you blame the weather for your rotten mood?

Do you blame the politicians for your lack of success in your job?

Do you blame him for your frustration, your loneliness, your disappointment?

No one and no thing, has the power to make you feel anything you don’t want to feel.

Your thoughts create your feelings, it’s a biological fact.  A thought causes two neurons to connect and release a flood of chemicals that create a...

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The Beauty of Boundaries

Uncategorized May 30, 2024

When I was a kid, our family home was on a beautiful wooded lot in the Orem river bottoms.  It was really quite idyllic with a stream running across the front, tall Cottonwoods trees and a gorgeous hill behind.  It felt like the perfect place for our family and pets.  

Our next door neighbors were our cousins and we spent hours roaming the hill and playing all kinds of outdoor games on our huge combined yard… you see, there was no fence dividing our properties.  

As kids, we thought this was the perfect setup, but for our parents, not so much.  Tempers were fueled when the dog made a mess on the wrong lawn, or when it someone accidentally put a hole in the trampoline, or perhaps when one yard wasn’t cared for as well as the other… 

People say good fences make good neighbors, and the same could be said for having boundaries in relationships. 



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