Thrive Tribe Blog | Jane Copier Coaching

It's No One Else's Job to Love Me, It's Mine

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

Is your body image hurting your marriage?

Have you gained your Covid-19lbs? I know I’m up a few!

In times of stress, our brains seek comfort. Comfort comes in the form of dopamine and dopamine often comes from eating something delicious, that lights up those pleasure sensors in our brains.

Isn’t that interesting?

When we over-indulge in self soothing this way, we take in more energy than our bodies can use and they save it for later.

That’s all that’s happening here.

It’s important to understand your brain because when we don’t, we can be HARD on ourselves.

And when we are HARD on ourselves, we feel bad, and then we seek comfort (dopamine), and we keep creating a vicious cycle.

I was coaching a client last week that is really struggling to love herself.

Her body has a stronger gravitational pull on the earth than it once did, and she is making those numbers on the scale mean all sorts of things that just aren’t...

What's the Matter, Love?

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

I was raised to be nice.

I was raised to be polite.

I have incredible parents who are kind and caring and truly the best people I know. They raised me well.

But because I was so polite, and kind, and seeking to be sensitive to my husband’s feelings when I got married, I had a very difficult time expressing myself.

I didn’t want to rock the boat. I never wanted to hurt him.

In my effort to preserve my relationship, I sacrificed my thoughts, my desires and my voice.

I stuffed it all down and suffered… in angry silence.

I have friends who took the opposite position… griping and complaining and yelling all of the time.

And because it was their “normal” voice… what everyone was used to hearing,- they were completely powerless as well.

Learning to communicate honestly in your relationship is a skill that many of my clients lack, but it makes sense.

When you don’t learn to value yourself, to value your own...

It’s been a bit of a tender week for our family as our High School Senior learned this week that he would not be going back to High School. We had hoped that they might be able to go back for at least a week or two to say goodbye to their friends and gain some closure.

He so wanted to go on tour, go to prom, sing with the Madrigals and celebrate the culmination of these special years with his peers at Graduation.

But it was never meant to happen that way. We thought it was… but it wasn’t. We were mistaken.

Our dear friend Sammy thought she would get to have the big wedding celebration she had planned at the golf course country club. She chose the flowers, the colors, the decor, the photographer, the food… she even sent invitations to all of the guests.

But it was never meant to happen that way.

Instead, her wedding ceremony was small and private and intimate, exactly the way it was always going to be. ...

Choose Your Love, Love Your Choice

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

I Love Choosing!

All of my good friends know I LOVE TO ORDER food at a restaurant.

(Big Corona bummer for me, LOL! I’m guessing I’m not alone.)

I love looking at all the awesome pictures and reading the descriptions, and then just telling this genie of a person who comes to my table what I want, and the genie brings it to me!

It’s the absolute BEST! I don’t have to go to the grocery store, or spend time prepping and cooking, it just comes to me and I get to sit and enjoy awesome company and conversation while I wait. It’s pure MAGIC!

I love choosing. Knowing that I get to choose and that I have a choice is the most empowering realization I’ve ever made.

I get to choose what I think and feel. No one else does that for me.

Often when we feel overwhelmed or overburdened, it’s because we aren’t owning our choices.

My husband and I disagree about remodeling our kitchen.

It’s 20+...

Feeling Annoyed?

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

Are you feeling a little (or maybe even a LOT) annoyed?

Close quarters and lots of time together can be the perfect recipe for annoyance.

Especially for those whose relationship is already strained, prolonged hours together can really push you to the breaking point.

What is your trigger?

Is it the way he handles his job while at home? The way he interacts with the kids? Tapping his foot? Humming or whistling 24/7? The way he chooses to spend his time? Breathing?… LOL!

Humans are complex creatures. No matter how “normal” we think we are, we all have idiosyncrasies and personality traits that might get on someone else’s nerves.

It doesn’t mean you are weird if you are being annoying, or that the people around you are weird if you are the one who is annoyed.

It simply means that you are thinking thoughts that make you feel annoyed.

As women, we are especially subject to this because we are constantly...

The Gift of THIS Moment

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

The world has pressed pause. Gatherings have been cancelled, restaurants are closed, travel is restricted and life is anything but “ordinary” these days.

Anyone else feel like they’re living in some bizarre movie?

When I was a little girl, I remember wishing for the future. I was sure that Jr. High would be so much better than Elementary School, and then when I discovered that Jr. High was awful, I found myself wishing for High School, and so on… I was always anticipating getting to the next thing.

I know that’s not exactly what we are experiencing now, but the principle is just the same.

Do you find yourself longing for things to just get back to normal?

Are you wishing for something else rather than what you currently have?

Even when the present moment isn’t ideal, or perhaps even close to it, it’s what we have. It is our present, our gift.

The Media’s job is to get people’s attention, and...

Build a Life You Can Be Proud Of

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

Have you taken a walk lately and noticed that people are smiling more and saying hello? Have you noticed the generosity of spirit and random acts of kindness that are a by-product of our common concern and fear?

I have.

A principal in Port Jefferson, Long Island, NY sent this out to his staff and it’s spreading to teachers like crazy.

I love his perspective, -so much so that I wanted to share it with you.

“And, what if…

If we subscribe to the philosophy that life is always working out for us, that there is an intelligence far greater than humans at work…

That all is interconnected.

What if… the virus is here to help us?

To reset.

To remember what is truly important.

Reconnecting with family and community.

Reducing travel so that the environment, the skies, the air, our lungs all get a break.

Parts of China are seeing blue sky and clouds for the first time in forever with the factories being shut down.

Working from...

Isolated, vs. Feeling Isolation

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

I’ve been thinking of you and wanting to give you a little extra help. This past week things have been changing almost hourly where we are at, and I worry that many in our communities will start being overwhelmed with negative emotion.

If you are reading this today, chances are very likely that you have been asked to impose social distancing or self isolation.

Boy, even just saying these words, by themselves, can cause us to feel a little cold or lonely.

The state of our current affairs is causing many of us to feel fear, but then when we tack loneliness on top of that, it can be down right debilitating!

So today I want to give you some ideas of how you can feel incredibly connected and supported, even while physically distancing yourself from others.

First, it’s important to know that when you are feeling lonely, it’s because of a thought that you are thinking. Thoughts like…

“I miss...

How to Get Rid of Those Automatic Negative Thoughts

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

So many people in our world are feeling paralyzed by fear right now.
Fear is normal, fear is human, fear is created by our thinking.

Where do you feel it? When I feel fear, I feel it in my chest. It feels squeezing and tight. I feel tension in my abs and also my shoulders and neck, and my breath feels a little shallow instead of full and relaxed.

Our bodies respond to fear in a very visceral way. The vibration that you feel from thinking fearful thoughts, can cause our bodies to produce stress, and stress lowers our antibodies… which then lowers our immunity.

As humans, we are crazy fearful of the unknown and our media does nothing to calm the hysteria.

Remember how I’ve shared with you that our human brains have over 60,000 thoughts per day… and most of them are negative?

Our primitive brains are wired to keep us safe, so they are on the constant lookout of danger.

Dr Daniel Amen describes this negative thinking as an ANT...

Boil it Down

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

I’m still in Dallas this morning, waiting for my return flight home tonight.

Last night my son called from Utah where I live, and said, “Mom, I’ve never seen anything like this!” He works in film and spends 12-15 hours a day on the set, and just learned yesterday that his shoot has been cancelled for two weeks. Anyway, he decided to stop at the grocery store and stock up on a few things on his way home.

What he found at the grocery store was many empty shelves, and to his horror, the only bread left was gluten free….which he bought…even though he hates it LOL!

People are panicking a bit.

Our primitive brains are so wired to try and keep us safe. Their most pressing job is to help us avoid any type of pain, so when they encounter a fear like experiencing a pandemic, they totally freak out.

So if you find yourself feeling this way, you are perfectly normal.

The good news is, you don’t have to feel this way if...

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