Thrive Tribe Blog | Jane Copier Coaching

Flexible People Are Happy People

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

“Flexible people are happy people.”

I have a dear friend, Geralee, who has been, and continues to be an incredible source of wisdom in my life.

She shared this thought with me several years ago, and I can’t tell you the number of times it has come to my rescue!

“Flexible people are happy people.”

A few years back, my husband and I were traveling home from a fun week at Lake Powell with some amazing friends (Geralee was one of them), when we hit a flash flood. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. The road looked wet, but before we knew it, our car was engulfed and we had mud and water up to our windows. Sooo crazy!

We had left our vacation a little early to be able to get home in time to help another friend with her daughter’s wedding. But this impeccable timing, this incredibly out of the ordinary event, drastically changed our plans.

How do you react when things don’t go your way?

Do you get uptight,...

The Best Kind of Fast

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

Intermittent fasting is all the craze these days.

I have to admit I love the way it makes my body feel when I shorten my eating window. I sleep better, I maintain my weight more easily as my body is able to tap into my fat stores and I never feel bogged down or bloated.

But you know what feels even better? Giving up negative self talk.

That’s why my number one fasting recommendation is an inadequacy fast.

Inadequacy is defined as: The state or quality of being inadequate; insufficient, lack of the quantity or quality required.

When we feel inadequate, we feel deficient, like we are lacking in one way or another, or that we just don’t measure up.

The feeling of inadequacy is generated by our thinking.

Ask yourself this, “Who is doing the measuring? Who decides the measurements on the measuring stick?”

We are often our own worst enemy, constantly barraging ourselves with criticism.

...

How to Keep a Bad Thought From Spinning into a Bad Day

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

Bad days happen for everyone.

Life is supposed to be 50/50 right?

But when we create a bad day by indulging in a nagging thought, we are creating more negative emotion than is necessary.

We’ve all done it.

Sometimes we even want to.

This happened to me last week. I had a frustrating tech issue I couldn’t figure out, and I got annoyed. I had the thought, “This is just too hard.”

The more I told myself how hard it was, the more frustrated I became.

I started thinking of all the reasons I wasn’t going to be able to make it work. Then I started comparing myself to other colleagues who were luckier or smarter or more whatever than me.

So I decided to bag it for a while and ate some Valentine’s candy and watched an episode of This Is Us, that I’d missed.…(PS, I love that show!)

And then I got bugged at myself for eating the candy, because I was trying to get off of sugar again…

Then, my...

Discomfort in the Comfort Zone

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

Do you find yourself aching for more, yet you just feel stuck or unable to help yourself?

I was on a call with someone this week who made the comment, “I just want to stop being a victim.”

She knows what she wants, but making the decision to do something about it isn’t something she is able to do yet.

Why is it so hard???

Making decisions is one of the hardest things that human beings do, because for more than 90% of the population, we fear change more than we fear death.

There is a reason it’s called analysis paralysis.

The comfort of familiarity, even if it is painful, is less scary than the unknown.

The other reason most of us procrastinate making a choice, is because we fear making the wrong one.

But here’s the problem. Once you ignite a dream, once you hope for something different or start to believe there might be more… remaining where you are becomes intolerable.

The comfort zone is no...

With Fresh Eyes

#janecopiercoaching Nov 08, 2024

I LOVE this pic of my husband.

We were just outside of Bar Harbor, Maine. It was a glorious fall day and we were traveling with dear friends. I watched my husband as he was laughing about something – I have no idea what it was…

But I wasn’t at all interested in the conversation. I was WAY more interested in watching this incredible guy I love. I was noticing his big, boisterous laugh and the crinkles around his eyes. Those gorgeous laugh lines, formed by many years of smiles, and sitting through hundreds of hours of outdoor sporting events, cheering for our kids. I was observing his awesome jawline and the sky blue color of his eyes. And those nice broad shoulders… don’t even get me started!

I just watched him and admired him from afar.

I do that sometimes.

I love to look at him with fresh eyes.

Marriage can sometimes give us cataracts.

Years of small annoyances and daily frustrations...

The Manual

#coachformidlifewomen #emotionaladult #expectations #janecopiercoaching #lcslifecoach #stopjudging Jul 06, 2020

When I was a newly married, every single night I would cook an elaborate dinner, because I believed it was what a “good” wife should do.

Truth is I don’t really love to cook, but in my mind it was necessary if I wanted my husband to love me. I remember one night, my husband coming home and saying, “You don’t have to make a big dinner every night, I’m totally fine with a frozen burrito!”

But of course I didn’t listen, because a “good” wife always makes a nice dinner! Right??

There were lots of other things I added to my manual for myself, like never say anything if it might hurt someone else’s feelings, always volunteer, never go out in public without looking good… and on and on! Sound familiar?

Not only did I have a manual for myself, but I also had a manual for my husband. Which of course I never shared with him, -I just expected him to read my mind.

Because if he really loved me, he would KNOW...

Life Will Always be 50/50

#contrastisablessing #fiftyfiftylife #janecopiercoaching #lcslifecoach #ldslifecoach #midlifemoms Jul 29, 2019

We are on vacation in Southern California recently with a few of our kids and grandbabies. It’s a trip we’ve been so looking forward to since we booked it months ago, and so far we are having a great time!

But knowing that our experience is going to be 50% good and 50% bad, helps me keep a good perspective and roll through the bumps with much more calm.

In life, so many of us have the expectation that we should just be happy all of the time. That if we can just choose the right thoughts, things should always be perfect.

We should always be madly in love with our spouse, we should always be having fun and feeling amazing. But here’s the truth, in order to experience the full scope of human emotion, life is supposed to be 50/50.

Consider this, if we spent 100% of our lives in positive emotion, everyone would be happy, thin, lottery winners… and we wouldn’t even know we were happy.

There would be no contrast.

We...

What if? The questions that drive us crazy!

#coachformidlifewomen #howtocalmyourbrain #howtostopworrying #janecopiercoaching #lcslifecoach #stopworrying Jul 08, 2019

“What if….?” Does this question swim in your brain and cause you stress?

You’re not alone and boy has this weekend given me a run for my money! I am in the soup and working hard at some self coaching!

First, you should know I have major issues with motorcycles.

When I was 18, I was working for the summer as a nanny in Massachusetts, when I got the call that my uncle had been in ANOTHER motorcycle accident. It was very serious and he had lost his leg… and eventually his life. I had watched my mom and her family deal with his struggles over the years due to his major health and mental problems, all caused by previous accidents. I never wanted to have anyone I loved on a motorcycle.

So… I’m married to a man. A man who loves manly things… A man who for thirty years has wanted a motorcycle, and not purchased one because he knows how I feel. He has watched as several friends in our...

Bring the Joy

#coachformidlifewomen #howtomakeothershappy #janecopiercoaching #lcslifecoach #stopfeelinginsecure Jun 29, 2019

I heard a quote recently that I loved and it made me stop and think. It goes like this:

“There are two types of people in the world. One walks into the room and announces, “Here I am!” The other walks into a room and says, “Oh, there you are!”

One person, completely focused on themselves, and the other, focusing on someone else.

The truth of this made me take a good hard look at myself and ask, “Which one am I?”

So many of us are uncomfortable in social situations, but it has nothing to do with the people we are surrounded by, and everything to do with the thoughts in our own minds.

When we worry about the way that others perceive us, we focus on ourselves.

When we show up with love and genuine interest for others, the focus shifts
away from ourselves, and we are able to be authentic and engage in building relationships.

Consider how you want to show up.

What kind of energy...

Are You a Fence Sitter

#coachformidlifewomen #indecision #janecopiercoaching #lcslifecoach #stopfeelingstuck Jun 20, 2019

Have you ever been a fence sitter? It’s such an uncomfortable spot isn’t it? Those fence posts can get a little painful after a while!

I remember back in high school, being recruited to play volleyball by a few different colleges, and being scared to death to make the wrong choice.

Maybe you felt the same way when deciding where to move… whom to marry… your vocation etc…

Indecision is caused by a thought error or loop, which is the result of fear.

Fear that we will make the wrong choice.

Fear of messing something up.

But you see, the fear we have about making the decision, only adds to the drama and doubles the discomfort, because you beat yourself up for being so indecisive!

Our past, and every decision we’ve made, were the right ones. How do we know this? Because we made it! Whatever we have chosen in life has been the perfect classroom for...

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