Jealousy is one of the most human emotions there is, and for many women it gets louder in midlife. In this episode, Jane answers a question from Sandy, a listener who just turned 50. 

A new neighbor has moved in who seems to have everything: a "perfect" body, a successful husband, plenty of money, and a warm welcome from Sandy's friends. Sandy feels tortured, can't stop thinking about her, and feels ridiculous for feeling this way.

Jane explains why jealousy isn't the neighbor's fault, how the Self-Coaching Model shows that our thoughts create the feeling, and how to move from scarcity to abundance. She also shares a five-step process you can use the next time the sting hits.

• Why feeling jealous doesn't make you a bad person
• The difference between jealousy and envy, and why the tools work for both
• How the Self-Coaching Model (Circumstance, Thought, Feeling, Action, Result) shows where jealousy really comes from
• Why jealousy is a scarcity story ("she won, so I lost") and how to break it
• Why comparing your insides to someone else's outsides always leaves you short
• How jealousy can point you toward what you truly want, and whether you really want it
• A five-step process: notice it, find the thought, look for the insecurity, choose a new thought on purpose, and ask four powerful questions
• A simple challenge for this week: get curious about her instead of treating her as competition

Someone else's blessing isn't a withdrawal from your account. There is enough, for her and for you.

Proverbs 14:30 (NIV): "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."

• Coaching concepts adapted from Brooke Castillo, The Life Coach School Podcast, Ep #21: "Jealousy": 

Send it in, and it may be answered on a future episode of Happy in the Middle. Send your question to jane@janecopier.com

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Welcome to Happy in the Middle, with your host, The Christian Marriage Coach, Jane Copier. 

I’m Jane Copier, and you're listening to Happy in the Middle,  a podcast for Christian women navigating marriage, family relationships, and the beautiful work of becoming who God created them to be. As the Christian Marriage Coach, each week I offer practical tools and faith-filled conversations to help women just like you, create deeper connection, healthier communication, and a life, -and marriage, they love to coming home to.  Let’s dive in!

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