#114 One Foot In, One Foot Out: The Hidden Pain of Straddling in Marriage
Are you still married. but no longer fully in your marriage?
In this episode, we talk about one of the most painful and unspoken places many women find themselves in: straddling. That exhausting emotional limbo where you haven’t left your marriage, but you’re no longer fully choosing it either.
You’re functioning. You’re doing life together. But intimacy, desire, friendship, and emotional safety feel distant, -or gone altogether.
If you’ve ever thought:
- “I’ll stay for the kids, but I’ve shut my heart down.”
- “I don’t want a divorce, but I don’t want closeness either.”
- “I love him… but I don’t trust him, and I’m tired of getting hurt.”
This episode is for you.
We’ll explore:
- Why straddling makes sense as a nervous system response
- How emotional withdrawal quietly erodes intimacy and self-trust
- What Scripture, neuroscience, and relationship research all reveal about living divided
- And the three honest choices every woman must eventually make
Most importantly, I’ll walk you through four powerful steps to move from ambivalence to integrity, so you can stop living split inside yourself and begin rebuilding clarity, peace, and self-trust.
This is not about forcing yourself to stay or pressuring yourself to leave.
It’s about choosing wholeness, honesty, and courage, -whatever that ultimately reveals.
✨ Peace lives on the other side of your internal split.
Key Scriptures Referenced:
- James 1:8
- 1 Corinthians 13:4–7
Referenced Research & Thought Leaders:
- Dr. David Schnarch (Differentiation-Based Intimacy)
- The Gottman Institute
Next Steps:
-If this episode stirred something in you and you want clarity about your marriage, I invite you to book a free coaching call with me. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
-If you know a woman who is quietly suffering in this space, please share this episode with her. Sometimes being the “angel” for someone simply means sharing some helpful support.
🤗 Thanks for being a part of my circle.
Book a Free Consultation with Jane: https://JaneCopierCoaching.as.me/Consultation
Welcome to Happy in the Middle, with your host, Certified Life Coach, Jane Copier.
Happy in the Middle is a podcast for Christian women who want to make the second half of life, the BEST half. This podcast is all about helping women reignite their spark and step into their divine power, in order to create deep and connected relationships, and find the fulfillment and satisfaction they crave.
So, if you’re ready to grow, join me and learn how you too, can overcome guilt, resentment, disappointment, and enjoy the fruits of creating a life well and beautifully lived. Let’s gooo!
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